Seriously, FROM *GAY* HELL.

I hate gay.com news… it’s always some pretentious queen trying to act like he knows what he’s talking about… eh-hem… *blush*… anyway, this story struck me – apparently there’s some guy-on-guy action coming up in Guy Ritchie’s new Sherlock Holmes movie.

Robert Downey Jr will portray Holmes and that guy that used to be in movies, what’s his name? He was pretty good – oh yeah, JUDE LAW – to play Watson. Personally I don’t see Law as much of Watson, but I don’t see Eddie Murphy as the Riddler in the next Batman movie. I PRAY this is only a rumor, but then again who saw Heath Ledger as The Joker?

So the reason this popped up on gay.com is according to Robert Downey Jr Holmes and Watson are “two men who happen to be roommates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s badass.” So basically “From Hell” with buttsecks, full of creepy 19th century hookers, absinthe, and opium dens – and apparently 19th century homosexuals. My BFFSarah has an odd fascination and fear with all things 19th century: Spindly moustaches, the High Wheel Bicycle, the High Wheel TRICYCLE, back street abortions, bathtub gin, anything that happened between 1801-1899.

One year she had an 1800’s theme birthday party where she dressed as a flapper girl. I always wondered why they called them flappers; it makes me think of Sarah Silverman’s “floppy vagina” episode… anyway, I came as a backstreet abortion doctor. It was totally easy and tasteless, all I did was slick my hair back, wear a pin-line moustache, wear a trench coat, and carry a straightened clothes hanger with red fingernail polish on the end. It was horrible and tasteless – in other words a major hit.

Check out the story on gay.com news here.

A Night of Twisted Brain Cinema...

I slept like a log last night, but apparently my biological clock was ticking out of control. I had some strange, twisted dreams that were far too real… They say that through a night you have 7 dreams but you only remember a couple. Last night I remembered two. And they SUCKED.

In the first dream I was about to be a father. I was hanging out with “the daddy club” aka my friends that have kids, Shawn and Zac. We were all really excited because I was about to join “the Daddy Club”, and my surrogate had a little girl and in the process of her dream I watched her grow up. She was a really cute little girl with blonde hair and looked like a cuter, more feminine me.

The next dream I was sitting at the Peanut Butter Café with my high school Government and Sociology teacher Susan Landon, one of my exes, and the guy my ex was dating in the dream. As Susan sat down with a bottle of wine, de-corking it, she started a conversation about how weird it is when people invite their exes to their weddings. I agreed but then my ex’s dream boyfriend said “oh well I hope that’s different this time because we want you to come to our wedding!” and I was like “and you can suck a glock” but not really, in the dream I laughed at them like you do at an old couple who tells you they’re going skydiving. It’s like “great, have fun, but you’re 90 and your bones are made of dust.”

a social network for myspace and facebook to give swirlies to.

I have been on MySpace for about 4 years now, to this day on MySpace I have 523 blog posts and 16,105 visitors and I haven’t even really touched that thing in a while. Anyway, the point is, although MySpace is fun it’s more or less geared for the mindless and bored. A European country however has developed their own social network organized through a network of famous museums. So it’s like a social network for the intelligent!

On this upcoming website you can talk to your smart friends, start smart-sounding groups about Matisse or Queen Victoria instead of the “UFO Alliance”, “Planet X”, “Spiritual Gathering”, “Bitch + The Exciting Conclusion Fan Club”, and “The Exoterran Rights Movement” groups that I joined up with on MySpace. Doesn't this just sound like a website that other social networks would push down to steal it's lunch money?

Things like this are always a lot of fun, believe me I’ve hit up a lot of different social networks and really it always comes back to two, the ‘Space and the ‘Face (MySpace and facebook for those of you who are network declined). Who knows, maybe someday another will pop up will the same drawing power as the ‘Space and the ‘Face but until then those two remain the King and Queen of the internet in my heart.

Check it out here.

Now THAT's getting into your part!

Talk about method acting… Scott Siegel, an actor who played a steroid dealer on the show “The Wrestler” was busted… for selling steroids! Maybe he was doing research for a role, if that’s the case I shudder to think what Anthony Hopkins had to do for research on role HE played!

Siegel led police on some huge bollucky chase where he tried to slam into police cars and hit pedestrians, he probably tried to hit old grandmothers pushing babies in carriages or something as well.

I’ve known some INSANE actors in my time that get way too into their roles. One woman I knew would stress herself out so much to play her part she would hyperventilate between scenes and go a bit nuts, as if the scene had never ended.

Another man I knew, not an actor per say but more like a “life performer”. I had the honor of meeting composer Mark Adamo after a performance of Lysistrata at the Seagle Music Colony in upstate New York. The man was AMAZING, he would flail about as he spoke, contorting his body into positions most yoga gurus would have trouble with. He wore bright button up shirts with bright white pants, and never shared a dull moment. The guy was wildly amazing.

Anyway, as he was leaving he walked by the group I was standing with, fluttered about and bid us all farewell, then got in his car and drove away. I was really disappointed that he didn’t sprout wings and fly away.

Read the whole story about Scott Siegel here…

This Oliver couldn't say "please sir could you stop exploiting me?"

This is something I’ve been fascinated with for a while. Oliver was a “humanzee”, believed to be a human/chimp hybrid. I’ve seen a few documentaries on Stalin’s weird ape/human hybrid, so I wonder if this little guy was part of his weird experiments or if he’s – GASP – a sasquatch???

I love sasquatch.

The Crack in the Middle of Ireland

Over the past few years I’ve been seeing 3-D street paintings all over the internet, but the Crevasse by far takes the cake. I’m sure you’ve seen them, from one angle they’re eye-popping optical images that you would swear were not flush with the sidewalk, but from any other angle they look like strangely distorted stretched pictures.

German artist Edgar Mueller’s latest creation is of a giant crag splitting the earth and revealing a frozen glacial canyon. Tourists love taking pictures from the correct angle depicting themselves nearly falling in, hovering in the middle like a super hero, and any other trite fun you can have with a giant 3-D image of a split in the earth.

Mueller’s other works include a city street which, from the proper angle, appears to have fallen in, molten magma dripping from the cracks into a flowing blue river. This has to be the most stunning sidewalk art that I’ve ever seen.

A while back I got to see the art of sculptor Ron Mueck at the Fort Worth Modern. The work he created was so lifelike the only way to tell what was real was the extreme size differences from normalcy. One of the cornerstone pieces of the exhibit was a gigantic lifelike replica of a newborn baby. Like fresh out the oven baby with goo all over it still. THAT was absolutely amazing after I realized what was up, the first time I saw the thing I was upstairs and looked over a balcony down and before me was a giant bloody baby. I thought I had finally gone crazy, or some weird Emily Rose stuff was happening to me.

Check out the full story on Edgar Mueller and a video of how he painted “The Crevasse”.

Starting at 12:10, ending at 12:15

So if you are bored right now, here are five fun things I found in five minutes of speedy stumbling. It was hard not to spend time on each site but I was on a mission, so here you go. I suggest the inter-face or the 5th one down first. Those are endless fun.

Beard-second - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Physics Flash Animations

inter-Face: Dominique

The Worlds of David Darling

http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf

Ive learned ....

For those who want to know: Reliable information on health, energy, media...

The Fuzz Always Tryin to Get a Crackah.

Remember a bit back when that woman Heidi Gill was handcuffed and tasered by police? Well, the decided to drop the charges of her lying to police… because the officer, Richard Kovach was facing federal charges himself.

I grew up with a cop, and around a lot of them. It’s no secret that amongst the good there are power hungry little boys playing cops and robbers. I had an incident a few years back with a dirty cop, to this day it’s the only time I’ve had a loaded weapon drawn on me.

An ex of mine and I were at the park and heard some bustle by the car so we decided to leave, and as we did there was a big group of guys standing around in the parking lot. As we awkwardly got in the car and they all split up I noticed a kid sitting on the ground battered and bruised.

I called the police, then saw an officer approaching so hung up with 911 and talked to the cop directly. She told me to go ahead and leave, which I did, but the same sow pulled me over 5 minutes later, came to my window with her gun drawn, and accused me of being the ring leader of the fight club that we had apparently just walked up on.

Once the stupid (insert word I don’t use here) realized I didn’t have anything to do with it, she pulled the sappy bullshit “I’m just a woman out here by my self bluh bluh bluh”. I took charge, got her badge number, and immediately called the Arlington police department and filed a report on her. She ended up getting suspended and having to take anger management and sensitivity classes.

Douchebag.

Check out Heidi Gill’s story here.

Adolf the Dog

Scroll back a bit to my blog about little Adolf Hitler’s birthday cake. The poor kid, and his two siblings with nazi related names, have a dog just waiting for them at a dog pound in germany, little Adolf the Dog.

Adolf, the dog of a old Nazi nut who goes by “Roland T”, a car salesman in Berlin, has been placed with animal control after his owner was jailed for TEACHING HIS DOG A NAZI SALUTE!

That’s right! Just like in the picture, the cute little german shepherd mix will raise his paw all the way up to give a proper “Howl Hitler”. Apparently the police had gone easy on his previous nazi-related behavior because of a brain injury but when Roland T bragged to the police about how he taught his dog to throw a Heil Hitler, which is illegal in Germany, they took his ass straight to jail.

Germany takes this “we ain’t nazi’s no more” business pretty seriously! Now that the crazy bastard is jailed and the dog is in custody, the workers with the animal shelter have been trying to train little Adolf the Dog to stop raising his little paw so high.

I think little Adolf Hitler Campbell’s parents need to make a trip to Germany and adopt a dog. I mean really, how much more white trash would that be?

The most fun I've had with my broweser in a while...

Stumble stumble stumble, blog blog blog, why is Justin Thyme freakin online all the time?

If you didn’t catch on that was set to that MIA song where she says “hustle hustle hustle, grind grind grind, why’s everybody gotta hustle all the time”.

Whatever, it was funny to me. The only purpose of this blog was to show something really fun that I found on StumbleUpon today. Check out this link, and don’t get freaked out when your browser window changes sizes. It’s really just too much fun.

FUN LITTLE BROWSER SKIT

Ron Paul say "Let Them Smoke Trees"!

I have a bit of renewed faith in the direction of the republican party now, Ron Paul, one of the typical old rich white men that run this country, has PUBLICALLY declared that the war on drugs needed to end. When FDR came into office he abolished prohibition because people liked liquor. Now, undeniably, American’s love the hell out of pot. No carbs, NO chance of overdose kills SIGNIFICANTLY less brain cells than alcohol (which is like pouring acid straight onto your brain) and you can’t puke it all over yourself then try and give your friend a hug while saying “I love you man!”

I totally agree with Ron Paul. First of all I think alcohol SHOULD be illegal because the shit is DANGEROUS. Why isn’t it illegal? Well first off a good majority of Americans are alcoholics, many of them being the people that run our country. Like George W Bush. It was completely obvious to anyone who’s known an alcoholic in their lives that Dub-Yah was drankin for at least the last year of his presidency. I’m sorry but sober people don’t have noses THAT red; and intelligent sober people can READ A FREAKIN TELEPROMPTER.

I had my own little bout with the drug war. I was pulled over one time in Colleyville, TX. The officer swore my car smelled like the ganja which I knew for a fact there was no way it could have, you have to smoke it or at least have it in the car for it to smell. So he called another officer, he agreed, so my right to privacy was completely thrown out the window with the two words “probable cause”. Since it’s like there was a bomb in there and everything, I was a completely dangerous individual.

I told the guy that there was a bottle of patchouli in the console which is probably what he smelled. He found the bottle, then as he dug around between the driver’s seat and the console he retrieved – GASP – a cigarette style one hitter pot pipe which I didn’t even know was there. I shared the car at the time so it could’ve fallen out of a pocket or any number of accidental scenarios for that matter. But none the less, he found it.

AND TOOK ME TO JAIL FOR IT.

When he arrested me he said, “you’re going to jail for possession of drug paraphernalia, son.” Like he found a freakin crack pipe or something. I was so pissed. I knew it was going to be thousands of dollars or something to get me out, so when I heard $350 I was at least somewhat relieved. Now, if you google my full name either the first or second thing that pops up is some douchbag bitch named Linda Baker blog which is basically the City of Colleyville’s police blotter. I think the woman should have (insert the C-Word, since I know that word bothers a lot of you girls) Tattooed across her forehead. I hope this page comes up when she does a search on her own name just so she can see how much of a C#NT I think she is. Damnit, I said that word anyway.

Ron Paul is totally right, we need another FDR to come along and say, in a Joan of Arc manner, “Let them smoke pot!” and start …dealing… down the national debt.

Read the full article here.

GOTTA Love Creative Nerds.

I have never owned a brand new computer. Every PC I’ve had has been handed down to me, then modified, then upgraded, until it becomes a Frankenputer. The guys at Steampunk have created desktop computer case mod which looks like something out of an old silent sci-fi movie.

I used to collect computer parts, like memory, video cards, monitors, my old closet looked like I got a PC drunk and it threw up everywhere. A year ago I got rid of the lot of it, now it’s just me and the laptop. An ex of mine called me out of nowhere the other day to ask what I had done with a ziplock baggy full of sticks of memory we had at one point because he was convinced the computer he had taken with him had less on it than before. Asking this is like asking an accountant what he did with that abacus he used to have, considering the bag was full of 10mb sticks…

At most computer geek Mecca’s like Quake Con you see all KINDS of case mods, like full PC hardware setup in a cardboard box, and they’re playing Call of Duty on it or something. I don’t know all the PC games anymore, my laptop barely plays solitaire. But it blogs!

I would rock the hell out of this Frankenputer though, I think it needs to be in my mansion when I buy it. Check out all the pics on Flikr.