Why is SEX Just Not Enough?

The face of dating has dramatically changed over the past decade, either that or I have just been extremely sheltered. When did sex become not enough? Since when does a person have to have a "sexual scene"? I think the trend really started around 2000 or so when everyone got this little contraption in their homes known as a Personal Computer. Since then, the internet has ruined the face of dating forever.

Someone made a comment to me, while discussing this subject that the internet had made people more free, and somewhere along the line they just got lost in it. People have the freedom to explore their fetishes, and pick up a few new ones on the way. It's like the internet is the world's greatest sexual gateway drug. People have the opportunity to find out about strange and bizarre kink that they never knew existed, and I think once a person begins exploring the taboo it's no longer a novelty and they begin to loose track that what is acceptable and not acceptable in society.

But what is acceptable? Who determines that besides the population, which are now turning into a society of internet porn loving perverts? Somewhere along the line people have lost track of WHERE to draw the line. The concept of monogamy has been completely thrown out the window, especially with people of my generation. I guess my fondness for traditional monogamy is the old lady in me coming out, but what the heck is wrong with having a single sexual and romantic partner?

Lately it seems like when I talk to a lot of people online I get a permanent high brow. It still shocks me as to what some people with throw right out there, within the first few minutes of talking. The question "what are you into?" is always the first line off most people's fingers, and they don't mean romantic movies and long walks on the beach. Since when did I have to be "into" something? I'm only 28 and I can remember the good old days when a person's sexual likes and dislikes were discovered not announced.

The internet has killed dating forever. The whole "make em wait" thing doesn't work anymore because if they wait too long they'll just find someone online to loose interest in. I would say that it saves you from wasting your time, but if you don't waste your time now what else is there to waste it on?

WE'RE ALL GONNA EFFIN DIE.

Today Obama met with President Lee Myung-bak concerning North Korea’s nuclear capabilities. What did they determine? That they have them. Yup, big knews I know, right? But what really kills me is the US is still doing nothing about it.

I hesitate to question or criticize Obama just yet because he’s only been playing ball for 3 months, his tactics and methodology aren’t fully clear to me. I haven’t figured out his strategy beyond the basic bluntness that he so beautifully embraces. He’s a very forward person from what I can tell, so why is he dancing around this one? There’s the illusion of confronting the issue, but it’s met with a general avoidance.

he pentagon KNOWS that North Korea is most likely performing tests on long range missiles disguised as a communications satellite TODAY. How do they know it’s just a test? Why would a tiny country like that test a nuclear missile when they can just but the technology from someone who’s already tested it? What is to say they’re not about to launch a big fat BOMB at us today?

The thing that absolutely KILLS me is that the pentagon KNOWS North Korea has nuclear capability, they know that they are “moving fuel trucks and fueling equipment to a coastal launch site” and Obama is the first to really address it, but Dub-Yah jumped on Iraq for POSSIBLY having weapons of mass destruction. POSSIBLY. Then it turned out they probably didn’t. What the eff, man?

Japan, along with several other countries is well prepared for this launch. North Korea has announced that any interception efforts or monitoring of the launch will be met with military action. What has the US said? Nothing. We have no interception plans. A journalist even yelled out of turn asking Obama if he had concerns about the launch which was ignored.

With so many issues I’m sure Obama is like a new property manager walking into a crumbling apartment building saying “You seriously haven’t fixed this yet?” He’s shut down Guantanamo Bay but where are they sending the prisoners to? Even though I’ve given a high-brow to a few of this administration’s moves already, I’m STILL thankfull that we didn’t elect these two!

DUNDERFOOL! 09: TRENT REZNOR!!!

This year's DUNDERFOOL 09 took a lot of work - I investigated many april fools day pranks, I thought it over, but when a friend sent me an IM saying "OMG Did you see the new Nine Inch Nails album? HOLY SHIT it's produced by Timbaland! Oh... I think I just got April Fooled..." I knew that this was THE winner.

I miss April Fools Day, it seems like people just don't get into it that much anymore. Actually, it seems like people don't get into ANYTHING anymore... nothing is exciting anymore, nothing is fun... Really, nothing is good enough anymore, especially in the good ol US of A.

Thats why it gets me super excited when people like Trent Reznor take time out of their day to come up with something like "Strobelight". The page really looks like previous NIN online releases, it even features a faux album cover with Rezor wearing silly sunglesses that's very reminiscent of "The Slip".

A full track list is provided including "Pussy Grinder" (featuring Sheryl Crow) and "Even Closer" (featuring justin timberlake and maynard james keenan), "laid, paid and played" (featuring fergie of the black eyed peas and al jourgensen), and "Still Hurts" (featuring Alicia Keys).

The website claims that your credit card with be charged $18.98 plus a $10 digital delivery convenience fee and they will send you the album in Windows Media format. Upon entering your email address, the wicked blue screen of death pops up and says "Aprl_Fls" at the top of the error message. Fun!

It probably took Reznor a whole hour to do, but what's loosing an hour if it means actually participating in this little play we call Life? With so many of us wandering around the planet getting an "F" in participation, Trent Reznor gets an A. OK, an A+.

DUNDERBRAIN!'s Favorites for Spring (additions will be made)


Jarrito's Mexican Soda – lately I’ve been trying to ween myself off Dr Pepper, and all dark sodas. Jarrito’s aren’t diet, and they probably are loaded with sugar, but at least it’s cane sugar and not high fructose corn syrup. One of these every few days is the PERFECT treat.

Twitter – For the longest time I thought Twitter was stupid and avoided it at all costs, then I broke down, fed my social network addiction and got a Twitter account. Now I have Twitter handing all my status updates, I have twitter for google desktop, and I TXT in my tweets. All hail the TWITTER revolution.

Scarborough Fair – Every spring Scarborough Renaissance Fair opens in the DFW Metroplex. Located in BFE just south of Dallas, make sure and take plenty of cash with you because there’s a ton of food – and BEER BEER BEER. And wine. And mead. And more Beer. And wenches singing at the tavers. And funny dressed people to make fun of. And guys giving samples of roasted legumes inviting you to “taste their nuts”. Can you tell I’m excited?

Vitamin Water Tranquillo and Sync – Vitamin Water’s two new flavors are freakin WOW. Sync (Berry + Cherry) is fruity and punchy while Tranquillo (tamarind + pineapple) is reminiscent of Mexican soda. Vitamin Water may be loaded with sugar but again, like Jarrito’s, no high fructose corn syrup is used. Instead VW uses crystalline fructose.

Spring Layers – With the weird Texas weather lately spring layers are vital. I usually sport a t-shirt and cargo shorts with a long sleeve t tied around my waist in case it gets chilly. Two t-shirts are usually plenty for a light chill, plus with complimentary fabrics and a good fit you can keep the look sporty and away from the early 90’s baggy homeless gig.

Neon Glitter Bliss – I found this band while watching Logo one day and their song “Wilted Flower” immediately appeared on my iTunes. They’re a great bubbly band that will really get you geared up for spring. Their music reminds me of sunny days, candy, and cute boys. All the essentials for spring.

Shock Top Ale – My BFF Eric and I discovered this beer at the Mellow Mushroom in Fort Worth a week or so ago. We’re both trying this weat beer diet thing (it’s supposed to be better for you or something) so the waiter suggested Shock Top. With an orange wedge for garnish it’s a very refreshing beer, perfect for an afternoon at the peanut butter café.

Classic TV shows – This spring I have been all about the old TV shows: Bonanza, Gomer Pyle USMC, Adam 12, Dragnet, Laverne and Shirley… From the campy bad acting to the blunt political incorrectness of the era, there is a reason these shows are classics. Turn on TV Land and give these old shows a fresh look!

PATRON! – Patron is true for all seasons, but this one in particular it has definitely been a favorite of mine. Even though it’s a more expensive shot at the bar it’s DEFINITELY worth it. Not to mention it feels all special at the bar when they dress it with salt and lime.

SomaFM - Looking for great streaming radio? SomaFM is the place to get it. Groove Salad is a staple at the Peanut Butter Café, and lately Drone Zone has been the soundtrack while I work giving people great massages.

The Thing You Need to Know About ?'s Is...

In my line of work I run across two types of questions. Open-ended and closed-ended questions. Now you may question what is the difference between these two types of questions? ??? I’ll tell you.

Closed-ended questions are questions that answer the question in usually one word. It’s “yes” or “no”, “black” or “white”, “Demo-jack-ass” (hee haw!) or “Republi-bendyouoverandfuckyouwithabigwoodenspoon.” (Hey, they are in crisis people! Extreme Makeover: Political Party Edition)

Answered closed-ended questions usually lead to open-ended questions. Open-ended questions are questions that answer the question as to make you question why you asked the question to begin with. Do you have a question about any of that? Good, now on to the point!

Hospital waiting rooms. Typical venue where both types of questions are asked and asked frequently. “Do you have asthma?” (closed); “Is my [friend/family label] going to be alright?” (open); “Why did that person get to see the doctor before me?” (mos def an open!).

The reason these hospital waiting room questions interest us is that thru these questions and answers, we get to peak inside another family’s life story. How to tell the difference between open and closed-ended questions being asked is by watching the mass reactions of loved ones from said questions being answered. The reactions to answers display the emotion or concern for the loved one being waited on by their friends and family members—whether good or bad, open or closed. But, they also shed light into the functionality (or dysfunctionality) of said family.

Let’s say you, the observer, happen to be in a hospital waiting room and you see a doctor sitting down, amidst many family/friends—conglomerating around; close enough to the doctor as to allow them to hear answers to questions being asked, but far enough away as to brace for impact from the answers being given. High anxiety, loving arms wrapped around other loved ones, tears/crying. This happens to also be a typical scene in ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ episodes, but let’s say for argument’s sake that this particular family is a real, living, tangible one. Open-ended questions... closed-ended questions... many types of reactions.

Now imagine that same waiting room. Different chairs in a round, different conglomerate of family members, no friends, no doctor, waiting room television tuned into a ‘Green Acres’ marathon on TV Land. As you glimpse into their story, you observe a young, good-looking lad, college educated, wearing a Chicago Cubs cap, facing the blob of family members who are waiting with him. To his left a late 40’s, college drop-out, married mother of 2 (one college educated in pre-med and the other a freshman in a 4 year Univ) has a copy of the latest edition of the ‘Twilight’ series books in her lap. Starving for a distraction of your own, you eavesdrop in on the questions and answers of this family script. You would expect the typical questions to be thrown about for such a waiting room situation—“Do you want anymore peanut M&M’s from the vending machine?” (closed). (Not ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ worthy, I know!)

However, you deduce that the questions being asked in this waiting room melodrama are not ordinary, not about concern for the loved one being waited on, nor is there any “bracing for impact” body language present. Never the less, these questions and answers are just as revealing, relevant, and entertaining to watch unfold against any other waiting room mass reaction scenario playing out across the room.

Your craving for gossip has led you to dial in onto a conversation already in progress… The young lad asks of his ‘Twilight’ yielding loved one: “Do you believe in evolution?” (closed). Your hearing astutely tuned for a “yes”… or, a “no”… Awkward pause, uncomfortable body-shifts, internal wheels ‘a turning, all eyes on ‘Twilight’.

You prepare yourself for the long anticipated answer: “I believe in Adam and Eve.” (WTF?)

CLICKY THE PICY ABOVE FOR THE NSFW VERSION! GET A TRASH CAN READY!!!

Here at DUNDERBRAIN! The new voice of the ultra conservative religious right wing, we have elected the SUPER SEXY Rush Limbaugh to be the SEXIEST MAN OF THE YEAR.

Besides having a keen sense for good politics (And hating that bastard Obama!) Rush Limbaugh has the biggest MANCHICKENS in the whole world.

Rush Limbaugh's MANCHICKENS is the hottest thing in the world, and his internet bride would definitely agree!

When he's not eating handfulls of hard opiates (for his PAIN! Have sympathy for his PAIN!) I know this man has to constantly be spanking his MANCHICKENS because, I mean seriously, WOULDN'T YOU?

We love Rush and his big fat MANCHICKENS.


HAPPY DUNDERFOOL'S DAY!!!

Over the past week DUNDERBRAIN! celebrated it's first anual White Trash Week. In choosing the White Trash Idol many people come to mind, and I had actually solidified on my first pick - but the past week of this woman's ramblings, bloggings, and twitterings caused the tide to shift a bit. Who is the White Trash Idol 09??? Who else but Ms. Courtney Love.

Lately Ms Love has been a bit of a flap fingers with the social networks and all it's done for her is proven she has no concept of grammar, spelling, or relevance to society for that matter. And that she's most likely a heavy methamphetamine user, but OF COURSE that's total speculation...

When I was a young angry teenager I used to LOVE Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, and of course, Hole. Pretty much anything wearing black or flannel. I wore elephant leg jeans, layers, flannel shirts, basically general lesbian drag. One of my favorite accessories were doll heads on necklaces, like that Hole song "Doll Parts". I was a grungey little boy.

Now I wear Nautica, DKNY, and lots of Aeropostale. My favorite accessory is my pair of Armani Exchange aviators. I get my hair did at Ulta instead of having a friend from school cut it then dye it with coolaide. And of course, I no longer wear doll parts strung around my neck.

Now, one of my favorite rock icons from my youth has gone completely white trash. Not that there's anything wrong with that! We love trash of ANYKIND here at DUNDERBRAIN! so here's to you Miss Clover, you'll always be the First Queen of White Trash in our hearts.

It just gets cuter and cuter the more you read...

This morning I recieved this in my email, so it's in no way a DUNDERBRAIN! original,but I had to post it anyway. It's the story of Jasmine, the stray dog. The story really reminds me of Puff the Magic Dragon, how he used to go from kid to kid helping them with their bad situations. Anyway, read on about Jasmine the Deer.


In 2003, police in Warwickshire , England , opened a garden shed and found a whimpering, cowering dog.. It had been locked in the shed and abandoned. It was dirty and malnourished, and had clearly been abused.

In an act of kindness, the police took the dog, which was a Greyhound female, to the nearby Nuneaton Warwickshire Wildlife Sanctuary, run by a man named Geoff Grewcock and known as a willing haven for Animals abandoned, orphaned or otherwise in need. Click for-�http://www.warwickshirewildlifesanctuary.co.uk/index.htm
Geoff and the other sanctuary staff went to work with two aims to restore the dog to full health, and to win her trust. It took several weeks, but eventually both goals were achieved.

They named her Jasmine, and they started to think about finding her an adoptive home.
But Jasmine had other ideas. No-one remembers now how it began, but she started welcoming all Animal arrivals at the sanctuary.. It wouldn't matter if it was a puppy, a fox cub, a rabbit or, any other lost or hurting Animal, Jasmine would peer into the box or cage and, where possible, deliver a welcoming lick.

Geoff relates one of the early incidents. "We had two puppies that had been abandoned by a nearby railway line. One was a Lakeland Terrier cross and another was a Jack Russell Doberman cross. They were tiny when they arrived at the centre and Jasmine approached them and grabbed one by the scruff of the neck in her mouth and put him on the settee. Then she fetched the other one and sat down with them, cuddling them."

"But she is like that with all of our animals, even the rabbits. She takes all the stress out of them and it helps them to not only feel close to her but to settle into their new surroundings.

"She has done the same with the fox and badger cubs, she licks the rabbits and guinea pigs and even lets the birds perch on the bridge of her nose."

Jasmine, the timid, abused, deserted waif, became the animal sanctuary's resident surrogate mother, a role for which she might have been born. The list of orphaned and abandoned youngsters she has cared for comprises five fox cubs, four badger cubs, 15 chicks, eight guinea pigs, two stray puppies and 15 rabbits.

And one roe deer fawn. Tiny Bramble, 11 weeks old, was found semi-conscious in a field. Upon arrival at the sanctuary, Jasmine cuddled up to her to keep her warm, and then went into the full foster mum role. Jasmine the greyhound showers Bramble the Roe deer with affection and makes sure nothing is matted.

"They are inseparable," says Geoff "Bramble walks between her legs and they keep kissing each other. They walk together round the sanctuary.
It's a real treat to see them."

Jasmine will continue to care for Bramble until she is old enough to be returned to woodland life. When that happens, Jasmine will not be lonely. She will be too busy showering love and affection on the next Orphan or victim of abuse.

From left, Toby, a stray Lakeland dog; Bramble, orphaned Roe deer; Buster, a stray Jack Russell; a dumped rabbit; Sky, an injured barn owl; and Jasmine with a Mothers heart doing best what a caring Mother would do.... Such is the order of God's Creation.

MY Donut from Dunkin Donuts.

This is the donut I created on DunkinDonuts.com.

It's peanut butter cream filled chocolate donut with peanut butter frosting and reeces crumbles on the top.

I named it "Penut Butter Bomb".