Oh no, sweetie darling.


I just got the buzz from EsterGoldberg.com that my favorite British comedy Absolutely Fabulous is going to be brought over the pond and made into an American series. At first I was shocked and almost infuriated so I had to do a little more research on the subject. Then, after seeing that 3rd Rock from the Sun’s Kristen Johnston will be playing Patsy I became a little more optimistic.



I’ve always been a huge fan of Ab Fab, in fact anything Jennifer Saunders touches turns to gold. The fact that she’s coming over as well to be executive producer, and approves the project at all says something. The woman knows funny, and she knows what isn’t funny. So far the actresses they’ve cast to play the leading ladies (Kathryn Hahn as Edina, Kristen Johnston as Patsy) seem very fitting.

Johnston says that the characters are trying to be more PC, chew nicorette gum instead of smoking, and are always hung over. The thought of Patsy not waking up with a cigarette ready in her mouth, lighter in hand is a bit challenging to me but still I think it could be a fun transition. The UK series is played out, it had an amazing run but it’s been over for a while. In fact, there have already been several non-UK adaptations of the show have already been made and bombed. France has made one, Canada made a show called P.R. based off Ab Fab, even Roseanne Barr tried to get an American Ab Fab with Carrie Fisher that never saw fruition.

Remakes happen, especially BBC to America. The Office has done amazingly, even with American TV it happens, WB just reprised 90210 which by all means should have bombed but I still see the ads for it every week. The fact is, if FOX tells people they’re going to like it, they’re going to like it. Even if they don’t they’ll still play the hell out of a show for a few seasons, sell a couple DVD’s, then sell the cow again.

That’s just Hollywood and junk. I wish they’d hurry up and make a modern day Bonanza remake.

Goddamned Salt Shakers.

I think, with many budding relationships, the biggest threat – even more than cuter boys – is their damned friends. For some reason, especially in the gay community friends can be the biggest salt shakers known to man...

Its always the same story, they get their friend’s new boo off in a corner by themselves and start spilling just enough information to make the new boo insecure about their current situation. They act like they don’t know that there’s something going on between you and their friend, like you’re just some “new friend” that’s come around and they drop some tid bit about a guy their friend was recently dating, or some obscure event which puts them perfectly in the wrong light.

And it’s always the same pathetic, poor lonely saps who are far too dependant on their friend in question that do it. They can’t stand the thought of any threat to their friendship which relationships, if good, inevitably always are. No matter what the stupid bullshit Freudian explanation may be, I think it’s sad and sick to prevent your friend from pursuing love because you’re insecure about being alone yourself.

I am blessed with exceptional friends, in my opinion at least. In a sense I think many of my friends are protective of me because they’ve seen my personal heartbreak and 808 first hand, but for the most part are very supportive of what I do. A friend of mine told me the other day in conversation about the bro-code, and a bunch of these little gay boys and fag hags in the world need to familiarize themselves with it. Your bro is not your bitch, don’t treat them that way. If anything over-beef your friend, make them seem like an even better person than they are, or even better - STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT.

Like my imaginary overweight country momma used to say, “if you can’t say nothin nice, go sit next to that ugly girl sitting by herself. She’s the only one that really gives a shit.”

Then it hit me - I freakin HATE cards!

Lately, as mentioned before, I’ve been using poker as a metaphor for love. Texas hold ‘em in particular, and to me at least it really makes sense. It’s helped me to put dating into a perspective that I can understand, but then this morning as I’m laying in bed meditating on my life, I realized I freakin HATE card games!

I always have. My closest group of friends all play this little game called “shit head”. It’s a fun enough game but it’s just WAAAAY too analog for me. I always feel like asking “can we play this on the Wii instead?” The only game I enjoy playing at all is poker, and that’s more for the atmosphere and socialization.

My real problem is I keep finding excuses for myself NOT to date, which works out all nice and shiny except I really don’t want to be old and bitter – and single. If I’m gonna be old and bitter, I want someone there to appreciate it – even if it is a paid professional. Someone once told me that’s how he defined old, when you started having to pay for sex.

Anyway, the only game I’ve ever liked was solitaire, because there’s nobody around to tell you when you’re breaking the rules. And really, all the other games get the deck all shuffled up. Solitaire is the only game where at the end of each round won the deck is replaced to perfect order.